Interview provided under license by Mister Softy
Mister Softy - Hello Boxing Fans. Today we discuss the boxing & wrestling game with Polish superstar Andrew “The Polish Pole” Golota. Andrew is here to promote his upcoming wrastlin’ match with Riddick Bowe. It’s the 3rd in a trilogy of legendary bouts between these two gentlemen. Hello Andrew, Welcome to Mister Softy’s Parlour.
Andrew Golota – Yes
MS – Andrew, this is truly a pleasure. I’m your World’s Biggest Fan. I’ve been watching your fights since before I could spell. I’m humbled to be in your presence.
Golota – This is nice
MS – No problem Andrew, now I understand this is the 3rd time you’re wrestling Mr. Bowe.
Golota – No
MS – Didn’t they call this a trilogy? I could have sworn they called this a trilogy?
Golota – No. Yes. We fight twice before, we box back in the 90’s.
MS – Funny, I don’t remember that. Were they good matches?
Golota – You “Biggest Fan”, how you not know this?
MS – Since before I could spell.
Golota – What you mean?
MS – Never you mind big guy Anyways, I am fascinated by your various nicknames, “The Polish Pole”, “The Punishing Pole”. What is the origin of these nicknames?
Golota – I don’t know.
MS – Oh c’mon Andrew, don’t be coy. It obviously has something to do with your pole. Is it fantastic or what?
Golota – Yes. They call me “The Foul Pole”.
MS – HaHa! “The Foul Pole”! That’s IS fantastic Andrew! Why, you have a crooked wang? Does it smell funny?
Golota – No.
MS – Well, tell me.
Golota – No.
MS – You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.
Golota – What?
MS – Tell me yours, I mean. Tell me your story Andrew, and I’ll tell you my embarrassing tale.
Golota –It goes back to my fights with Riddick.
MS – Boxing right, not wrestling?
Golota – Yes, boxing
MS – Do you know Gorilla Monsoon?
Golota – Who is this Gorilla Monsoon?
MS – Well, you’re a wrestler right? I thought wrestlers knew all the other wrestlers………tight knit community and all. I knew Gorilla Monsoon. Big teddy bear of a man. Met him at a highway rest stop once. Anyways, that’s a story for another day, back to your foul pole.
Golota –It goes back to fights with Riddick. I hit him low and I was disqualified.
MS – You hit him low?
Golota – Yes. Low in the balls, old Polish trick
MS - ……and you were disqualified?
Golota – Yes………….twice.
MS – HaHa……….Ha…….AhHaHaHa…..Ha Ha Ha. OMG! That’s fuckin’ hilarious. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa…..Ha Ha Ha Ha…………Oh Shit!…..HaHaHa…Ha Ha Ha. Oh Jeez, oh jeez…….I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe. Oh HaHaHa…….Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Oh Andrew, you’re the best!
Golota – Yes.
MS – Oh no, Andrew. Thank You, for that wonderful tale. So, just so I can get this straight in my head……….you hit Riddick low, in the balls, enough times to get disqualified by a referee……and this happened, not once, but twice.
Golota – Yes.
MS – I guess that’s not so bad. Sometimes in the “hurt game”, you need to find a way out of the fight, especially when you’re hopelessly out of the fight, no way to win a decision and taking way too much punishment.
Golota – I was winning both fights.
MS – No!
Golota – Yes.
MS – You say you haven’t always been a wrestler, because this seems like a story line they would come up with for that Triple H fella, or perhaps even Dwayne Johnson?
Golota – Who is Dwayne Johnson?
MS – Let’s just move on Andrew. So how do you feel about once again going up against the star of such movies as “Pitch Dark”, “Dos XXX”, “The Fast And The Really Angry” and that under-rated classic, “The Pacifier”.
Golota – What?
MS. – Jeez, Andrew. You don’t know much about your long-time rival, do you? You’re fighting that Riddick guy from the movie. You know, “The Chronicles of …………..Narnia” or something like that. Big, big movie star, just boxes and wrestles in his spare time.
Golota – That’s Vin Diesel, I’m fighting Riddick Bowe.
MS – That is so precious. Andrew, you truly are a monster, and I respect the hell out of you for that. You can tap my balls any day of the week, just promise to keep it clean and to wear the proper gauze.
Golota – I have to wash my hands now.
MS – Hey Andrew?
Golota – Yes
MS – Don’t forget to tip your restroom attendant on the way out the door.
Mister Softy is an Award winning Sports journalist, interviewer and all-around swell bloke. He once shook a confused Gerry Cooney’s hand at a Highway rest stop. World’s Biggest Fan, he told him. Gerry never forgot his meeting with Mister Softy, because Mister Softy never let him forget the meeting. Gerry Cooney is Mister Softy’s best friend now. Gerry Cooney also has a restraining order against Mister Softy. Mister Softy understands this is for the best. Mister Softy is looking to make new friends. Would YOU like to be Mister Softy’s friend?
